Week 3 - Walking the walk

So, this week's emphasis is on "Stepford" activities. I have to spend my week doing typical "Stepford" chores like cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. I did all of these things before my experiment but now I have to do them almost obsessively. Through research, I've discovered what the typical housewife activities are and how they're usually carried out.

My favorite website (for this project at least) indicates the following rules should be adhered to in order to ensure a home that is "a pleace of peace and order where your husband can relax":

"Now you are ready to start your day. You are a domestic goddess and the home is your domain. Your home away from home is the supermarket. And the only higher power you answer to (and only when you are spoken to) are the men in your lives. That means, in order: your husband, your son, and then other men.

• Clean clean clean! Everything needs to be spotless. Even if it takes a dozen repeated rubs, scrubs, and buff in the same spot. Clean and clean some more, in every corner of the house.

• Cook.

• Shop at the supermarket. Push your cart slowly. All items need to be placed in your shopping cart neatly, methodically, and in an orderly fashion."

An excerpt from a 1954 textbook says a "good wife" should:

• Have dinner ready: plan ahead to have a delicious meal on time.

• Clear away the clutter: make one last trip through the main part of the house and clean things up a bit. Make the home a little haven of rest and order.

• Minimize noise: at the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise from the washer, dryer, dishwasher vacuum. Be happy to see him and greet him with a warm smile.

• Make him comfortable: have him lean back in a comfortable chair. have a cool or warm drink ready, arrange his pillow, offer to take off his shoes.

Most of these things make sense. I'm a little leery of the instructions from the text book; I don't know if I could seriously offer to take off Bob's shoes at the end of the day. He usually has them off the second he walks through the door. I also object, a little, to the statement that the only person I answer to is my husband (we don't have children, so there's no son to answer to). It sort of makes my skin crawl to know that there are women out there who really believe they have no right to an opinion or thought of their own. It's hard to adjust my way of thinking, in this regard, to go along with this experiment. I guess that comes from many years of being told that a woman should be allowed to think for herself.

I can embrace the idea of making the home a quiet haven for Bob to come home to. After a crazy day of dealing with co-workers, other bus riders and the general downtown crazies, I think Bob would appreciate arriving to a happy, comfortable home. If I don't work outside the home, I totally support the idea that my job is to make a warm, inviting, relaxing home for my husband.

There are a few things I don't really understand about the expected activities of a "Stepford" wife. For instance, what difference does it make if I walk slowly or quickly through the supermarket? And why do my groceries have to be organized neatly in the cart? Wouldn't it be more efficient if I quickly walked up and down the aisles and threw my needed items into the cart? I'd be in and out much faster and then I could spend time doing more things like cleaning, cooking a delicious meal, etc.

Today I gave my best effort to participate in typical "old-fashioned" housewife activities. I got myself dressed (tight, asset-revealing turtleneck, brown tweed slacks) and out the door before lunch. I drove myself to the grocery store and strolled the aisles, neatly placing my groceries in the cart (they kept falling over and making a mess and I would have to stop and reorganize my cart). I then took myself to Home Depot to pick out paint colors for our bedroom and our den (Bob mentioned both rooms could use some paint - I disagree about the den but am doing what Bob thinks is best, in true Stepford form).



When I finished running my errands, I got home and did some baking and started prep work for dinner. I really enjoyed working in the kitchen.

Dinner timing was perfect until Bob arrived home earlier than planned. Thankfully everything was almost ready, so Bob only had to wait a few minutes for his meal. I got him a beer as soon as he reached the kitchen and he sat at the dining room table and told me about his day. Unfortunately, the new recipe I tried was not very tasty, so I had to find something else for Bob to eat. I'm on a doctor-mandated special diet and some of the recipes she's given me are pretty gross. Only a couple more weeks and I can get back to making normal meals again!

The rest of the evening has been easy and quiet. Bob pointed out the paint samples he likes best (I think this is going to be the hardest part of my experiment...I don't know if I can relinquish my opinion as a decorator to my colorblind husband. It just doesn't make sense!).

Tomorrow is laundry day, I think. I plan to make sure each day is spent doing things that prevent Bob from having to do anything upon his arrival home from work. I want to make sure Bob can come home from his long, hard day and just relax at night.

Until tomorrow...

Week 2 - Day 7

Another beautiful day, another dinner on the grill. Bob helped me grill again tonight, however, I did way more prep work than last night. I cooked our side dish and set the table while Bob talked with his parents. I got the steak marinated this morning and made sure everything was set for Bob to grill - minimal effort on his part. I think that's OK... I can recall seeing lots of husbands on the old '50s sitcoms who grilled - it's a man's thing...makes him feel manly.

My appearance started off really well - got all dressed up go to to church. I wore nice slacks, a fancy blouse and a nice cardigan. However, it was a little cold and wet when we got home so I changed into jeans and a hooded sweatshirt to keep me warm. Bob and I spent the afternoon on the couch so wearing slacks would have been a little bit of overkill. I'm really failing at the appearance portion of the experiment. I'll try harder this coming week.

Speaking of this coming week, I will be tackling a Stepford Wife's typical daily activities. They're busy bees so this should be interesting. And I am supposed to look pretty while I do all of the activities - another opportunity to try perfect my appearance and make myself look more like the wife I am trying to be. Wish me luck!

Until tomorrow...

Week 2 - Day 6

Dinner was delicious. We both really enjoyed our meals. I broke a Stepford rule, I think, because Bob and I prepared dinner together. We made burgers and that requires use of the grill. I'm not very well-versed with the grill, so Bob had to help me. I have to say it was really nice cooking dinner together again. Before this experiment, we used to prepare our meals side by side, using teamwork. It was always a bit of a bonding experience for us. It was nice to have a taste of that again. I did do the bulk of the work - setting the table, making sure all the ingredients were present and accounted for - but it was still nice to do a little work together.

I've noticed that, since this experiment started, I don't feel as connected to Bob. I feel like I can't tell him how I feel or be myself around him because I'm supposed to embody this fictional ideal of a wife. The Stepford Wives were robots in the book, so of course they didn't have opinions or feelings. However, there's this new wave in society of women who try to take on the traits of the characters in Levin's book (they gave me the idea for this experiment) and I wonder how they switched gears. Did they always behave this way and just now put a name to it? Were they always docile? How does one go from being part of a cooperative marriage to being a submissive wife?

I guess this is something I'll figure out as the experiment continues.

Bob wants me to accompany him on some errands so I have to go. Until tomorrow...

Week 2 - Day 6

Alright, so I'm back at it after two days of migraine. Glad to be back amongst the living!

I was wondering if Stepford Wives have to be dressy on the weekends... I thought the idea behind wearing dress clothes was because housework is my job and I would normally dress up to go to work. On the weekends, no one dresses up. Am I allowed to at least wear jeans? I think I'm going to wear jeans but still wear dressy tops. Does that sound fair? However, during the week, it's back to dresses, skirts and slacks. I think that's reasonable, isn't it? Maybe I'm cheating...

I'm still not sure how to conduct myself on the weekends...there's no need for a welcome home/dinner routine since Bob is home all day. This is going to take some practice. Today, though, I'm going to decorate the house for Easter and then run whatever errands Bob wants me to run.

Darn it! I just realized I left the house without doing my hair or makeup today!!! Bob and I took the dog for a walk first thing this morning. I doubt Bob would have wanted to wait for me to apply makeup and style my hair anyway, but I still broke the rules. Ugh! This appearance thing is a lot harder than I thought it'd be. I think I'm going to need the most discipline in this area - which is funny considering I thought the appearance part of the experiment would be the easiest for me. It's amazing the things I'm learning about myself. :-)

See you later for my post on dinner - turkey burgers and rosemary/olive oil French fries. Hooray!

Week 2 - Day 4 - Migraine Day

Sadly, after over a week without a migraine, I've been struck with another one (probably brought on by yesterday's bad news). Thankfully, I'd already gotten dinner in the oven when I felt the migraine coming on, so Bob will still have a hot meal waiting for him when he arrives home. I've also taken the time to do my hair so I don't look like a total nightmare when Bob walks in the door. I just won't be dressed in my best clothes - sweats and a t-shirt will have to do. I'm going to take the evening to rest and hopefully be in tip top shape for tomorrow.

I'm sorry there isn't more to report today. Stay tuned for tomorrow's post!

Week 2 - Day 3

I hate this week's experiment! I hate getting all dressed up just to leave the house...I had a quick errand I needed to run and before I could leave, I had to get all gussied up (long plaid skirt, light blue v-neck sweater and black dress shoes). It took me longer to get ready to leave than to actually run the errand. I really don't get the point of having to look like an actress just to go out and pick up a few things. I really don't enjoy it... Grrrr!

I got some bad news this morning and the last thing I want to do is be all fancy. However, I have to say that being dressed in nice clothes lifts me out of my bad mood, ever so slightly. I still can't deny the fact that I want to throw on some sweats and curl up on the couch to watch Law and Order or something...

Bob won't be home for dinner tonight so this is probably the last post I will make today. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a happier outlook on the appearance portion of my experiment.

Week 2 - Day 2

Today I found it much easier to get into the swing of things - I was dressed up and ready when Bob arrived home from work. I was even more on the ball with dinner, too. Dinner was ready and waiting on the table when Bob got home. I didn't meet him at the door like usual because he hasn't really enjoyed that aspect of the experiment. Instead I had his drink waiting at his spot at the table. He seemed to appreciate that.

Since I'm working on my appearance this week, I've done some research and learned that a "proper" housewife has a particular uniform for bedtime, too. Gone are the flannel jammies, zit cream spots on the face and sloppy ponytails. Apparently, Stepford wives are supposed to wear alluring lingerie to bed (not trashy, just seductive). Some websites recommended wearing garter belts to bed. I even saw one spot that recommended wearing crotchless panties to bed to allow your husband to "help himself" while you are sleeping (I found this appalling. I can support this "please your husband" stuff but I don't agree with encouraging your husband to take advantage of you while you are unconscious!).

I have to admit I'm a little worried and unenthusiastic about my nighttime appearance. My favorite part of the day has always been when I get to come home and slip into some comfy jammies. To me, there's little better than taking a warm bath and putting on a well-loved pair of flannel pajamas. I understand it isn't exactly enticing for Bob, but at some point in my day I just want to be comfortable! I tried dressing "sexy" for bed last night but was FREEZING all night! I wore tiny hot pants and a tight t-shirt (an outfit Bob has always been fond of). However, it is still winter, so those clothes provided little warmth (even with an extra blanket). So tonight I amended this and decided to put on a tight t-shirt and yoga pants that will have to suffice until the weather warms up. I'm not opposed to dressing sexy for bed, it just needs to be a bit warmer first. Does anyone have any ideas for dressing sexy for bed in the cold weather? I'd love some hints!

I'm looking forward to another day of glamor tomorrow. Maybe someone will give me some hints on how to look sexy at bed time without getting hypothermia!

Until tomorrow...

Good night!

Week 2 - Judging a book by its cover

This week's emphasis is on appearance. While I will still continue with the Welcome Home/Dinner routine, I'll be adding appearance rules to my routine. According to Levin's book, "The Stepford Wives," the women of Stepford keep a very tidy appearance. They always wear flawless makeup, dress to the nines - even to go to the grocery store, keep their hair styled perfectly and dress in a way that appeals to their husbands. According to this website, a traditional housewife should:

1. Always wear your makeup.

2. Always take care of your hair. Not a strand should be out of place.

3. If you are not well-endowed in your torso area, use bra inserts, augmenters, or the chicshaper. Large bosoms featured prominently in Levin's original story.

4. If you are not thin, wear a girdle.

5. Wear tight, but conservatively-cut clothing to show off your assets. (Remember to wear an apron during housework)

6. Look in the mirror. Imagine yourself as a girl in a television commercial; you should look flawless, at all times. The picture of the Stepford Wife is the picture of a person who is healthy and takes good care of herself.

Today, before I even realized it, I headed to the grocery store and the Post Office in an old sweatshirt of my husband's and a pair of ratty jeans. I hadn't done my hair or makeup. I looked quite scary, to be honest. It wasn't until I was waiting in line at the Post Office that I realized I was starting the appearance portion of my experiment. I felt like a failure! However, I went straight home and put on a pretty dress, heels, styled my hair and put on makeup and felt much better. Bob was so surprised when he walked in to see me dressed up. Usually when he comes home from work, I'm in a sweater and jeans (if he's lucky), so being dressed up was a welcome change, I think.

I have always enjoyed dressing up, so I don't know that I'll have a problem maintaining my appearance (except if I get lazy). I don't have a lot of dresses, so I may have to alternate between dresses and dress pants but I think that should be alright. I think the biggest struggle will be getting all dolled up just to run errands. Typically I just like to throw on some jeans and a sweatshirt and get out of the house as fast as possible so that I have plenty of time to get my errands taken care of. It seems silly to get all fancy just to go to the store. But since Stepford wives take particular care in keeping up appearances, I'm going to have to give my best effort to make sure I look gorgeous when I step out of the house.

I can get behind this philosophy of looking pretty for one's husband. I think sometimes Bob gets tired of seeing me looking shabby and dull. I've been ill for almost a year and so I rarely feel like making an effort to look nice when Bob gets home from work. I think he's forgotten how pretty I can look when I try. I'm going to make my best effort to wear something other than sweats, even when I feel awful. At the very least, I'll try to do my hair on the days I feel especially crappy. I really do think it's nice for a husband to come home to a beautiful wife. It reminds him why he married her in the first place. It's a shame that once we get married, women just give up on how they look; they only dress up when they are meeting up with other people. Remember the days when you would get all sexy just because your boyfriend was coming over to watch a movie? I think there's something to that. I really think it can put a spark back in the marriage if the wife tries a little harder sometimes.

Dinner went really well tonight (though Bob still thinks it's creepy that I meet him at the front door with a drink - maybe I should suspend that???). I made a roast and served it with fresh green beans. Bob mentioned several times how delicious the meal was. That made me feel so good! And I'm getting better at figuring out when he needs a second helping. I take his plate just as he finishes the last bite of his first helping and ask if he wants another. I think I'm getting this routine down pat. Hooray! Now just to remember to keep up appearances.

Well, off to do some housework. Have a great evening! See you tomorrow.

Week 1 - Day 5 - SUCCESS!

It's Friday! Hooray! It's been a long week for Bob, so I'm happy the weekend is finally here.

I gave my house a good "Stepford" cleaning - I think the ladies would be proud (there's still a lot of work to do, though). I was exhausted by the time I finished and almost skipped making dinner tonight. But my inner housewife chimed in and reminded me that I don't get to take a break just because I'm tired. This housewife thing is my job and I wouldn't get to slack off if I was still working outside the home, would I?

I'm glad I didn't skip the Welcome Home/Dinner routine today because the evening went so well! I was at the door, drink in hand, when Bob walked through the door. Then, our meal was ready just about the time Bob had finished going through his mail.

I had to check myself a couple of times - I started to give my opinion before Bob asked for it. After a couple of reminders to myself, I held my tongue and was a good listener. It's so hard - I feel like I'm not participating in my marriage if I don't speak up and say what's on my mind. However, that trait is exactly what usually causes arguments so I think I might end up saving us some strife if I just keep reminding myself to hold my tongue once in a while.

From now on, I think I'm going to stop mixing Bob drinks when he gets home. He doesn't like to have them with his meal and ends up getting a beer instead. I think I'll just have a nice cold beer waiting for him when he gets home from work. It will save me some work and it'll save the expensive alcohol!

Bob is still struggling to get used to me being a more hands-on housewife. He got up to get himself a second helping AGAIN. I grabbed his plate before he could get in the kitchen and he went and settled himself back in his chair.

I'm really starting to get the hang of this, I think. Next week will probably present another challenge but I'm looking forward to conquering it.

Tomorrow we have been invited to friends' house for dinner, so I have the night off. I'll check in on Sunday and report back with how dinner prep went (Sunday nights are Bob's night to call his parents, which always presents an interesting timing challenge).

Until Sunday...

Good night!

Week 1 - Day 4

Another successful day! Dinner was ready and waiting when Bob walked in the door, as was his whiskey and Coke (another one of his favorite drinks). I also managed to be waiting at the door with a smile. I was so proud of myself for working out the timing tonight. The soft, soothing voice I chose to use when I greet him apparently creeps him out, so I’m going to have to find another voice that’s not so creepy. Live and learn!

Tonight I made stir fry over rice pasta. It was fairly tasty. Bob totally cheated and got up to serve himself another helping. I had to jump up from my chair and shoo him back to the table. Tonight’s conversation was easier – I allowed him to do all the talking and I just responded in a way I felt appropriate. This “Stepford” thing seems to get easier every day.

It seems we take two steps forward and one step back, though, because as I write this, Bob is downstairs vacuuming! I love when he vacuums for me (which he never used to do without being asked), but I feel torn because I know that it’s supposed to be my job now.

Well, that’s all I’ve got today. Stay tuned for tomorrow!

Good night everyone.

What it means to be a "Stepford" Wife

What, exactly, does is involved in being a “Stepford” Wife? If I’m supposed to behave like one, how should I conduct myself? While reading Ira Levin’s book, “The Stepford Wives,” I took notes on the behavior and attitudes of the women featured in the book and made myself a little list of how I should try to behave during my experiment. Here’s what I came up with:

• Lots of cleaning, home maintenance – “Stepford” houses are immaculate.
• Wives always look perfect, shapely and attractive.
• The women are subservient to their husbands.
• There is no time for outside interests/work.
• Conversations with others consist of trite pleasantries and discussion on housework/cleaning supplies.
• Shopping at the grocery store is done slowly and methodically. Items are placed in the cart in a neat and orderly fashion.
• The women are essentially actresses; they seem to be eternally pleased with their home lives and cleaning products.
• Always be nice, polite and cheerful.
• All meals, including breakfast, should be hot and prepared from scratch (as close to scratch as possible, anyway).
• Make no demands on your husband.

Another list of characteristics I will try to follow is one I found on the Stepford Wives Community Bulletin website:

Stepford Cardinal Rules:

• Don’t complain about the day you have had. If he asks you about your day and you had a bad one, just say "It is much better thank heavens now that you are here!"
• Don’t list the problems that you need him to take care of until after dinner.
• Don’t push for details about his day. Keep it short and sweet. A man needs silence and peace in his home after a day’s work. We are meant to be seen, not heard!
• Make minimum fuss, especially if he seems short.
• Never ask why he is acting the way he is acting.
• If he wants you to be a listener and asks you to sit. Stop what you are doing and sit down immediately. Whatever you were doing can wait.
• Always keep your ears on alert the moment you leave the room. Keep your ears tune for your name to be called, a finger snapped, or a sign that he needs you to get or do something for him.

Let me just say this: it goes against my nature to follow some of these rules. I struggle to believe there really are women out there who live this way. However, this wouldn’t be much of an experiment if I didn’t try something that made me a little (or a lot) uncomfortable. I’ve lived a certain way forever and now I’d like to try something new. Maybe I’m missing something by insisting on an equal partnership with my husband. Maybe I’ll end up being happy that I handed over the pants to Bob. Only time will tell… I really am looking forward to giving this a shot!

The Second Pancake - Week 1 - Day 3

I have almost recovered from the horrible migraine that sidelined me yesterday. I’m still a little fuzzy but I was able to have a much more successful second attempt at the Welcome Home/Dinner schedule (just like the second pancake – it’s a keeper). After all of the difficulty I had opening bottles on Monday, I made sure any bottle I might need to make Bob’s drink was loose enough for my tiny hands to open. This allowed me to have Bob’s drink all set and ready to go when he walked in the door. The schedule indicates I should meet my husband at the door as soon as it opens but I haven’t quite mastered that skill yet. I didn’t hear him coming up the stairs so I wasn’t quite ready for him. I’ll have to listen harder next time.

After taking Bob’s coat and handing him his drink, I finished bustling around the kitchen and promptly served our meal (hooray! It was done on time tonight!). We had Trinidadian chicken stew, which was pretty tasty. I enjoy making stews because you can make them early in the day and just let them simmer all afternoon. Little work and a lot of payoff!

I still really struggled with the conversation part of the evening. It’s hard not to talk about the things that happened in my day. I had a really rough day today and so badly wanted to talk to Bob about it and have him assure me things would be alright. Making dinner and setting the table really helped take my mind off my worries but once Bob walked in the door, I wanted to dump my problem on him and hear his suggestions on how to solve it. I’m pretty sure this is a Stepford no-no. It’s so difficult not to speak unless spoken to. Bob didn’t want to talk about his day at work so, if I hadn’t talked, we wouldn’t have spoken at all during dinner. I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be, though…

As per the schedule, when Bob was done with dinner, I cleared our plates – even though I wasn’t done with my meal (“…if you fall behind on your own dinner, either snack later or skip a meal. It will do wonders for your waist!”). I have to say that I didn’t mind leaving the last few bites of dinner on my plate. I could use to lose a couple of pounds.

All in all, I feel like tonight was a success. My conversational skills (or lack thereof) will improve with practice. Eventually I will learn to let Bob steer the conversation. I’m just so happy I got the timing down (almost)!

I’m looking forward to an even better Welcome Home/Dinner routine tomorrow night. Third time’s a charm, right?

Have a wonderful night, everyone!

Week 1 - Day 2

I've got a pretty nasty migraine today so my experiment is, unfortunately, on hold until tomorrow (when hopefully I'll feel better). I've got a pretty yummy meal planned, so stay tuned to see how it turns out! I think things will go much better than they did yesterday.

Since I am still trying to get my migraines under control, there may be other days when I am unable to follow through with my Stepford experiment; please bear with me. My health has to come first. Hopefully days off will be few and far between (because I would guess real Stepfords don't get days off for illness)! :-)


Good night!

Week 1 - Welcome Home/Dinner Routine (Day 1)

The task for the first week is to master a welcome home/dinner schedule found on the website www.stefordwife.com. It seemed simple enough to me as I read it over – I love schedules! Below is the schedule as it was found on the website:

Preparation to greet him ( 4:30 – 5:30pm )

• 4:30pm Last minute check to see that dinner is in order
• 4:45pm – 5:15pm Refresh your makeup, go over your hair and make sure your dress is crisp.
• 5:15pm – 5:30pm Prepare his favorite refreshing cold drink or cocktail and make sure it’s ready to go on a small serving tray

Honey, I’m Home! ( 5:30 – 5:40pm )

• 5:30 – 5:35pm Put on your biggest smile and greet him at the door with a hug, an appreciative peck on the cheek and a warm "welcome home darling!"
• 5:35 pm Help him take his coat off, and hand him his drink. Hang up his coat while he sits down in the foyer with his drink
• 5:35 – 5:40 Bend down and untie his shoes while he has his drink. Get his nearby slippers, put them on, then put the shoes away. Ask him how his day was. (if the question is met with a grunt, don’t push further, just cheerily say, "well, I’m glad you are home now!"
• 5:40pm Bring the remainder of his drink on serving tray and accompany him to the living room where he sits down. Make sure his drink is topped off before going off to the kitchen.

Dinner ( 5:41 – 7:00pm )

• 5:41pm – 6:00 pm Make sure dinner is set up nicely on the table and everything is in order. Remember to go back and check on his drink!
• 6:00 pm – 6:45pm Dinner is served. Remind him he can eat first as you run around to serve, refill, and maintain dinner service. If you fall behind on your own dinner, either snack later or skip a meal. It will do wonders for your waist!
• 6:45pm – 7:00pm Accompany him back to the living room and asks if there is anything else you can get him.
• 7:00pm – ? If he appears to want peace, give him space and quietly let him know you will be in the kitchen if he needs you. If he seems like he wants to talk, sit down and listen. Don’t give your opinion unless he asks you what you think. Just listen. If he is getting frisky and in the mood, by all means, give your best performance. Never mind what kind of day you had!

My first thought was that it seemed pretty manageable. I was already getting pretty good at having dinner ready upon my husband, Bob’s, return from work. As long as traffic wasn’t too bad and the bus was running on schedule, I had almost mastered the skill of having a hot meal waiting for Bob at the end of a hard day. The other tasks on the schedule seemed logical additions to my preexisting routine, so I chose the schedule as my first week’s task because I thought it seemed the easiest (I wanted to ease into the transition…if I go too fast, Bob might go into shock at the sudden change in my behavior!).

My first attempt at following the schedule unraveled pretty quickly, I must say. I was able to follow things pretty well until it came to making Bob’s drink. All of the tops on the bottles were screwed on too tightly. I couldn’t even have his drink ready when he walked in the door! I met him at the door with a kiss and a smile and the bottle of vermouth, requesting (very politely) he open it for me. Then I hurried off to the kitchen to finish mixing his martini and rushed back with his drink and took his coat. I tried to ignore his comment when he said dinner smelled funny (I was trying a new recipe).

Bob didn’t help with the routine much. He didn’t want to go sit in the living room and enjoy his drink in front of the television. He wanted to help with dinner, ask me about my day, etc. From all I’ve read during the research I did, “Stepford” wives don’t really have interests of their own and aren’t really allowed to express their feelings about how their day went. There’s no spot on the schedule above that makes time for the wife to tell her husband about her day. But since the point, I think, is to do whatever your husband wants, I think it’s okay to follow the line of conversation he chooses, even if it’s about yourself. I just have to be careful not to express too many opinions or tell him about my worries, as it’s been made clear to me that a good “Stepford” does not tell her husband those sorts of things. I think this will be a struggle for me.

Dinner wasn’t ready until 20 minutes after Bob got home. The schedule shows that only 10 minutes should elapse before the meal is served. Everything took longer to cook than I anticipated. Bob even leaned his head into the kitchen to tell me he was starving (ouch). Soon, though, the pasta with lime cilantro pesto and steamed carrots with butter, salt and pepper landed on the table and Bob happily munched away. He said he didn’t love the pesto but didn’t hate it either (so I made note not to make that sauce again).

I slipped up a bit when Bob asked if there was more to eat. I told him there was more pasta and sauce in the kitchen – totally forgetting that it was my responsibility to get it for him. He was a good sport and reminded me that I should serve him his second helping (he seems to be catching onto certain aspects of this experiment really well…).

The hardest thing for me was to remember my “place” and to only talk about things that Bob wants to talk about: “If he seems like he wants to talk, sit down and listen. Don’t give your opinion unless he asks you what you think. Just listen.” In all the years we’ve been married, we’ve shared everything with each other. It’s hard to think that I’m just supposed to ask Bob about his day and forget about what happened with mine. I’m really confused about how to conduct myself after dinner.

I am very hopeful for a smoother dinner routine tomorrow. I guess today was sort of my "first pancake" (this blog entry included); the first one is always a little sloppy and usually gets thrown out. Let’s hope tomorrow’s dinner schedule (and entry) goes better!

Alright, off to continue my wifely duties. Goodnight everyone!

The Rules

Being a housewife was never on my list of goals. However, in 2009, I realized that such a reality wasn’t actually that far off for me. I had the face the fact that I was not cut out for the cut-throat world of corporate America. I also learned that my husband had always wanted a wife who stayed home with the children (this didn’t surface until, after 10 years together, we started to discuss starting a family and he dropped the bombshell that a mother should be home with her children).

I was a forward-thinking college graduate, raised on Oprah and Murphy Brown. Working outside the home was a right for which women before me had fought hard and I wasn’t about to let them down. I wanted to live a life of glamor – of fancy cars and designer handbags; a town home in a big city instead of a big house in the ‘burbs. I was going to do everything differently. In my eyes, my life was too special to be wasted on a boring life of domesticity. That life was fine for my friends and family but it wasn’t the life I wanted for myself.

After a long hard look at my life and the facts that were staring me in the face I realized that my way of doing things wasn’t working - my stress level at the office had made me so ill I was forced to stop working due to constant migraines and my marriage seemed to be one steady string of fights. I decided to try a whole new way…wait…old way, of doing things. I elected to try to live, at least for a time, as a typical old-fashioned housewife. I wanted to see what life would be like if I lived on the opposite side of the spectrum from what I’d always dreamed. I didn’t have much to lose, so why not?


Objective:
I will study the daily “routine” of a typical old-fashioned housewife (AKA a Stepford Wife, as portrayed in Ira Levin’s book, “The Stepford Wives”, with a little added inspiration from famous homemakers like June Cleaver and Donna Reed) and incorporate a new trait/task every week. Eventually I hope to take some of the traits and routines that I enjoyed and incorporate them into my “regular” life. I want to learn how to be more comfortable with domestic tasks and have a greater understanding of the hard work involved in staying at home. I plan to prove that there’s more to being a housewife than what you see on Real Housewives, etc.

I also want to explore the possibility that maybe there is something to the theory that a woman should stay at home and create a warm, loving environment for her husband and children – all the while caring for her appearance and the appearance of her home. Or maybe I’ll learn that working outside the home is necessary to feed a woman’s soul.


Rules:
During this experiment, I plan to completely immerse myself in this project. I will look, talk, walk, behave like a Stepford Wife. Each week I will reveal a Stepford characteristic I’ve observed from reading the book and will detail my attempt to embody the characteristic.

Typically, a Stepford Wife isn’t allowed to have any interests other than the well-being of her home and family. However, in order for me to share the results of this experiment with you, I will have to break that rule. I will adhere to all rules all day, with the exception of one hour in the evening when I will sit down to blog about my activities and thoughts of the day. For the time I write in my blog, I am not a Stepford Wife but an observer.

I look forward to having you along for the ride!

COMING SOON!

Join me on Feb. 22, 2010 as the Stepford Experiment gets off the ground!