Week 3 - Walking the walk

So, this week's emphasis is on "Stepford" activities. I have to spend my week doing typical "Stepford" chores like cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. I did all of these things before my experiment but now I have to do them almost obsessively. Through research, I've discovered what the typical housewife activities are and how they're usually carried out.

My favorite website (for this project at least) indicates the following rules should be adhered to in order to ensure a home that is "a pleace of peace and order where your husband can relax":

"Now you are ready to start your day. You are a domestic goddess and the home is your domain. Your home away from home is the supermarket. And the only higher power you answer to (and only when you are spoken to) are the men in your lives. That means, in order: your husband, your son, and then other men.

• Clean clean clean! Everything needs to be spotless. Even if it takes a dozen repeated rubs, scrubs, and buff in the same spot. Clean and clean some more, in every corner of the house.

• Cook.

• Shop at the supermarket. Push your cart slowly. All items need to be placed in your shopping cart neatly, methodically, and in an orderly fashion."

An excerpt from a 1954 textbook says a "good wife" should:

• Have dinner ready: plan ahead to have a delicious meal on time.

• Clear away the clutter: make one last trip through the main part of the house and clean things up a bit. Make the home a little haven of rest and order.

• Minimize noise: at the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise from the washer, dryer, dishwasher vacuum. Be happy to see him and greet him with a warm smile.

• Make him comfortable: have him lean back in a comfortable chair. have a cool or warm drink ready, arrange his pillow, offer to take off his shoes.

Most of these things make sense. I'm a little leery of the instructions from the text book; I don't know if I could seriously offer to take off Bob's shoes at the end of the day. He usually has them off the second he walks through the door. I also object, a little, to the statement that the only person I answer to is my husband (we don't have children, so there's no son to answer to). It sort of makes my skin crawl to know that there are women out there who really believe they have no right to an opinion or thought of their own. It's hard to adjust my way of thinking, in this regard, to go along with this experiment. I guess that comes from many years of being told that a woman should be allowed to think for herself.

I can embrace the idea of making the home a quiet haven for Bob to come home to. After a crazy day of dealing with co-workers, other bus riders and the general downtown crazies, I think Bob would appreciate arriving to a happy, comfortable home. If I don't work outside the home, I totally support the idea that my job is to make a warm, inviting, relaxing home for my husband.

There are a few things I don't really understand about the expected activities of a "Stepford" wife. For instance, what difference does it make if I walk slowly or quickly through the supermarket? And why do my groceries have to be organized neatly in the cart? Wouldn't it be more efficient if I quickly walked up and down the aisles and threw my needed items into the cart? I'd be in and out much faster and then I could spend time doing more things like cleaning, cooking a delicious meal, etc.

Today I gave my best effort to participate in typical "old-fashioned" housewife activities. I got myself dressed (tight, asset-revealing turtleneck, brown tweed slacks) and out the door before lunch. I drove myself to the grocery store and strolled the aisles, neatly placing my groceries in the cart (they kept falling over and making a mess and I would have to stop and reorganize my cart). I then took myself to Home Depot to pick out paint colors for our bedroom and our den (Bob mentioned both rooms could use some paint - I disagree about the den but am doing what Bob thinks is best, in true Stepford form).



When I finished running my errands, I got home and did some baking and started prep work for dinner. I really enjoyed working in the kitchen.

Dinner timing was perfect until Bob arrived home earlier than planned. Thankfully everything was almost ready, so Bob only had to wait a few minutes for his meal. I got him a beer as soon as he reached the kitchen and he sat at the dining room table and told me about his day. Unfortunately, the new recipe I tried was not very tasty, so I had to find something else for Bob to eat. I'm on a doctor-mandated special diet and some of the recipes she's given me are pretty gross. Only a couple more weeks and I can get back to making normal meals again!

The rest of the evening has been easy and quiet. Bob pointed out the paint samples he likes best (I think this is going to be the hardest part of my experiment...I don't know if I can relinquish my opinion as a decorator to my colorblind husband. It just doesn't make sense!).

Tomorrow is laundry day, I think. I plan to make sure each day is spent doing things that prevent Bob from having to do anything upon his arrival home from work. I want to make sure Bob can come home from his long, hard day and just relax at night.

Until tomorrow...

Week 2 - Day 7

Another beautiful day, another dinner on the grill. Bob helped me grill again tonight, however, I did way more prep work than last night. I cooked our side dish and set the table while Bob talked with his parents. I got the steak marinated this morning and made sure everything was set for Bob to grill - minimal effort on his part. I think that's OK... I can recall seeing lots of husbands on the old '50s sitcoms who grilled - it's a man's thing...makes him feel manly.

My appearance started off really well - got all dressed up go to to church. I wore nice slacks, a fancy blouse and a nice cardigan. However, it was a little cold and wet when we got home so I changed into jeans and a hooded sweatshirt to keep me warm. Bob and I spent the afternoon on the couch so wearing slacks would have been a little bit of overkill. I'm really failing at the appearance portion of the experiment. I'll try harder this coming week.

Speaking of this coming week, I will be tackling a Stepford Wife's typical daily activities. They're busy bees so this should be interesting. And I am supposed to look pretty while I do all of the activities - another opportunity to try perfect my appearance and make myself look more like the wife I am trying to be. Wish me luck!

Until tomorrow...

Week 2 - Day 6

Dinner was delicious. We both really enjoyed our meals. I broke a Stepford rule, I think, because Bob and I prepared dinner together. We made burgers and that requires use of the grill. I'm not very well-versed with the grill, so Bob had to help me. I have to say it was really nice cooking dinner together again. Before this experiment, we used to prepare our meals side by side, using teamwork. It was always a bit of a bonding experience for us. It was nice to have a taste of that again. I did do the bulk of the work - setting the table, making sure all the ingredients were present and accounted for - but it was still nice to do a little work together.

I've noticed that, since this experiment started, I don't feel as connected to Bob. I feel like I can't tell him how I feel or be myself around him because I'm supposed to embody this fictional ideal of a wife. The Stepford Wives were robots in the book, so of course they didn't have opinions or feelings. However, there's this new wave in society of women who try to take on the traits of the characters in Levin's book (they gave me the idea for this experiment) and I wonder how they switched gears. Did they always behave this way and just now put a name to it? Were they always docile? How does one go from being part of a cooperative marriage to being a submissive wife?

I guess this is something I'll figure out as the experiment continues.

Bob wants me to accompany him on some errands so I have to go. Until tomorrow...

Week 2 - Day 6

Alright, so I'm back at it after two days of migraine. Glad to be back amongst the living!

I was wondering if Stepford Wives have to be dressy on the weekends... I thought the idea behind wearing dress clothes was because housework is my job and I would normally dress up to go to work. On the weekends, no one dresses up. Am I allowed to at least wear jeans? I think I'm going to wear jeans but still wear dressy tops. Does that sound fair? However, during the week, it's back to dresses, skirts and slacks. I think that's reasonable, isn't it? Maybe I'm cheating...

I'm still not sure how to conduct myself on the weekends...there's no need for a welcome home/dinner routine since Bob is home all day. This is going to take some practice. Today, though, I'm going to decorate the house for Easter and then run whatever errands Bob wants me to run.

Darn it! I just realized I left the house without doing my hair or makeup today!!! Bob and I took the dog for a walk first thing this morning. I doubt Bob would have wanted to wait for me to apply makeup and style my hair anyway, but I still broke the rules. Ugh! This appearance thing is a lot harder than I thought it'd be. I think I'm going to need the most discipline in this area - which is funny considering I thought the appearance part of the experiment would be the easiest for me. It's amazing the things I'm learning about myself. :-)

See you later for my post on dinner - turkey burgers and rosemary/olive oil French fries. Hooray!

Week 2 - Day 4 - Migraine Day

Sadly, after over a week without a migraine, I've been struck with another one (probably brought on by yesterday's bad news). Thankfully, I'd already gotten dinner in the oven when I felt the migraine coming on, so Bob will still have a hot meal waiting for him when he arrives home. I've also taken the time to do my hair so I don't look like a total nightmare when Bob walks in the door. I just won't be dressed in my best clothes - sweats and a t-shirt will have to do. I'm going to take the evening to rest and hopefully be in tip top shape for tomorrow.

I'm sorry there isn't more to report today. Stay tuned for tomorrow's post!

Week 2 - Day 3

I hate this week's experiment! I hate getting all dressed up just to leave the house...I had a quick errand I needed to run and before I could leave, I had to get all gussied up (long plaid skirt, light blue v-neck sweater and black dress shoes). It took me longer to get ready to leave than to actually run the errand. I really don't get the point of having to look like an actress just to go out and pick up a few things. I really don't enjoy it... Grrrr!

I got some bad news this morning and the last thing I want to do is be all fancy. However, I have to say that being dressed in nice clothes lifts me out of my bad mood, ever so slightly. I still can't deny the fact that I want to throw on some sweats and curl up on the couch to watch Law and Order or something...

Bob won't be home for dinner tonight so this is probably the last post I will make today. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a happier outlook on the appearance portion of my experiment.

Week 2 - Day 2

Today I found it much easier to get into the swing of things - I was dressed up and ready when Bob arrived home from work. I was even more on the ball with dinner, too. Dinner was ready and waiting on the table when Bob got home. I didn't meet him at the door like usual because he hasn't really enjoyed that aspect of the experiment. Instead I had his drink waiting at his spot at the table. He seemed to appreciate that.

Since I'm working on my appearance this week, I've done some research and learned that a "proper" housewife has a particular uniform for bedtime, too. Gone are the flannel jammies, zit cream spots on the face and sloppy ponytails. Apparently, Stepford wives are supposed to wear alluring lingerie to bed (not trashy, just seductive). Some websites recommended wearing garter belts to bed. I even saw one spot that recommended wearing crotchless panties to bed to allow your husband to "help himself" while you are sleeping (I found this appalling. I can support this "please your husband" stuff but I don't agree with encouraging your husband to take advantage of you while you are unconscious!).

I have to admit I'm a little worried and unenthusiastic about my nighttime appearance. My favorite part of the day has always been when I get to come home and slip into some comfy jammies. To me, there's little better than taking a warm bath and putting on a well-loved pair of flannel pajamas. I understand it isn't exactly enticing for Bob, but at some point in my day I just want to be comfortable! I tried dressing "sexy" for bed last night but was FREEZING all night! I wore tiny hot pants and a tight t-shirt (an outfit Bob has always been fond of). However, it is still winter, so those clothes provided little warmth (even with an extra blanket). So tonight I amended this and decided to put on a tight t-shirt and yoga pants that will have to suffice until the weather warms up. I'm not opposed to dressing sexy for bed, it just needs to be a bit warmer first. Does anyone have any ideas for dressing sexy for bed in the cold weather? I'd love some hints!

I'm looking forward to another day of glamor tomorrow. Maybe someone will give me some hints on how to look sexy at bed time without getting hypothermia!

Until tomorrow...

Good night!